Well my friends, it is a sad day. I just found out yesterday that Uber.com is being shut down and will be an internet memory on Monday. It is honestly an amazing website and it helped me bring Unibrow and All Balls out into the world so I want to thank the amazing people who made the site. I am however happy to inform my fellow Unitards all that you don't have to worry. The Unibrow party of daily top 10's, inappropriate videos and hot chicks has already been re-launched at my new home on www.unibrowhumor.com.
It is my duty to provide all of you with the finest in lowbrow humor everyday and I will not rest until I have a threesome with three Brazilian women who all have at least 38DD boobs. That has to be at least ten years away, give or take. It's the exact same Unibrow and it's even prettier. It's like Unibrow just got a boob job. All right, so hopefully I made the giganticlinks to the new site big enough. Did I mention the new URL is www.unibrowhumor.com? I just want to make sure that the all of you know the new URL is ... WWW.UNIBROWHUMOR.COM.
It’s really easy to break down the MILF fetish. First of all, men assume they must be pretty good in bed and good at doing oral stuff because they’re moms. The second factor is that they’re probably extremely horny because they never have sex anymore. The third and most important factor is the increase of breast size. That’s why you don’t marry a woman with a D cup or higher. If you do, those are going to be some nasty udders when she gets older.
Today's Bonertown Hottie of the Day is the incredibly cute-hot Leighton Meester. Leighton is best known for being the fake Britney Spears on the show Entourage and now being Vinny Chase's naked funtime girlfriend. Leighton tells Bonertown that when guys squeeze her boobs they make sounds like the Pilsbury Dough Boy laughing and that her favorite hobby is ripping high-pitched squeaky farts.
Well, I didn't think it would take this long to find a winner for the greatest prize pack ever, but I guess a lot of people left fake emails or they simply couldn't spend more than 30 seconds away from internet porn to respond to an email. After the first four people didn't respond, I finally found someone who actually wanted to win an HDTV, PS3, $500 Target gift card, a giant bean bag chair and a box of 100 condoms. Ladies and gentleman, I give you the man who wishes to be known as "Nate G" (he's the super cool looking guy on the right dressed as Benjamin Franklin). When I sent Nate G the email announcing him as the winner, he literally responded in under ten minutes with an email that said "No Fucking Way." While he did wish it was an Xbox 360 instead of a PS3, I explained to him how much vagina he can get with a Blu Ray player and an HDTV and he quickly changed his mind. So here's to Nate G and all of your throwing stuff at the screen because the lucky bastard won the greatest prize pack ever. Thanks to everyone for signing up and may the boobs be with you.
Today's links that will make your butt explode include the greatest Magnum PI scene ever, Keeley Hazell's amazing singing boobies and the worst video in the history of the interweb.
Every man has done a peeing swordfight whether he'll admit it or not. It usually happens because you've been waiting in line to pee at a house party for so long that you simply don't care. Neither of you ever look at each others junk but you do cross urination streams because it's the closest thing you'll ever get to a real life lightsaber fight. It's all rather anti-climatic, but at least you get to hook up with a marginally attractive girl with nice tits before the night is over.
Zach Galifianakis is slowly becoming the Andy Kaufmann of our time. The misunderstood genius who will cut your head off and eat your brains if you even try to question his genius. He's probably doing a bunch of coke and having sex with two ugly Turkish women right now because he can. The sad part will be when he loses his mind and starts a band called "The Zach Attack." He'll OD in a matter of weeks after they lay their first track. It's tragic and awesome all at the same time.
Today's links that will make your butt explode include the Batman interrogation outtakes, Marisa Miller's new Sports Illustrated swimsuit calendar and the complete Alison Stokke photo index.
